The Fable of "Alan Didd"

In the old story of Aladdin and the Magic Lamp, the Genie came out and granted Aladdin three wishes. Even as kids, hearing the story for the first time, most of us were devious enough to ask, "Why doesn’t he use one of his wishes to ask for more wishes?"

Of course, the Genie would have replied, "It doesn’t work that way".

Well, this video is about "politics", and I’m going to say, "Why not?"

 
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Gene: Hello! How are you today sir?! My name is Gene, and I’m your local Candidate from the Wishful Thinking Party!

Didd: Uh, hi, how are you?

Gene: I’m wonderful fantabulous, sir, and may I ask your name?

Didd: I’m Alan Didd.

Gene: I’m so very glad to have caught you in today, Mr. Didd – can I call you Alan – because today we’re canvassing your neighbourhood to seek your support in the upcoming federal election.

Didd: Oh, the next election, right – have they called that yet?

Gene: Wha’ – have they called it yet? Ha, ha, ha, Mr. Didd, I mean Alan, they don’t have to call an election for us to come calling, you know that. We know one’s coming sometime – the Liberals are yelling at the Conservatives, the Tories are mad at the Liberals, the Bloc is always complaining about something, and the NDP is just blaming everybody. But you know what, Alan, our party is "different"

Didd: Oh, why’s that?

Gene: Because unlike all the other candidates in all the other parties, we stand for "honest" government. Nobody else, only us. We’re the only ones. I bet you’ve never heard that kind of commitment before, Mr. Didd – I mean, Alan.

Didd: Shrugs, wipes his teapot a bit to look like he’s busy

Gene: Well, I’m only going to take a moment of your time, Alan. First of all, let me hand you some of our brochures.

Gene: Let me tell you, Alan, our Party is better than the rest, because the way our Wishful Thinking Party is going to do politics is really different. You see, we’re going to give you THREE wishes. And, brother, are there a lot of things out there that need doing, don’t you agree?

Didd: Uh, yeah, definit …

Gene: Like, more housing for the poor?

Didd: Yeah, that’s a good one, I’d like that.

Gene: OK, Alan, we’re on a roll! One down, two more to go, let’s make it a good one, Alan. Think carefully: How about more investment in healthcare to reduce wait times?

Didd: That’s a good one, too, yeah, I like that. Um, do I get to tell you one that I’d like?

Gene: But Alan, politics is so complex! We’re the experts, why, I have 3 university degrees, 15 years experience, friends in high places, 2 car loans and a big mortgage, so I need this job and you wouldn’t want it – trust me, politics is boring, so you’d be in good hands with me or any of our Three Wishes Party candidates.

So, OK, Alan, there’s one left. It’s a big choice – drum roll here folks, the pressure’s on but Alan is up to it – he’s nearly done and is going to do the entire "world" a favour by picking his third wish. Alan, (softly) this is a serious moment, because what you tell me I’ll be taking back to party headquarters and your three wishes WILL potentially, maybe, probably, almost certainly become planned party policy if/when we ever get power, so now let’s go for it! Among this list of wishes, what would you want to wish for!

There’s … a cure for cancer, clean air, clean water, stop right-wing extremists, stop left-wing extremists, lower taxes, improve education, lower crime, stop crime, fire/appoint or elect judges, green our cities, brown our forests, privatize or socialize –

Mommy, doesn’t that man ever stop to take a breath (takes a deep breath) – ha, ha, Alan – had you going there, I’m not finished –

… make bank fees illegal, smaller government, bigger government, spend money on the military, outlaw poverty, money for farmers, halt all terrorism, appoint an Integrity Commissioner to oversee the Ethics Counsellor, raise the minimum wage, ban pesticides, ban rock ‘n roll, world peace, give everybody free marijuana, outlaw leaf blowers, …

Didd: Wait, wait, these are all very good, but I have a suggestion.

Gene: (deep inhalation) … yes?

Didd: How about, um, for my third wish, you let me vote on any big issues that come up after Election Day, like big, new spending programs that are going to cost a lot of money? Or what if your party wants us to go to war, or not go to war, don’t you think the people of the country ought to be able to decide? Or, you know, sometimes our judges make pretty big decisions on things that the people might want to talk about, like what if tomorrow a judge decided to legalize multi-spouse marriages?

Gene: Uh, let me see, I don’t have that in my list here, I’m gonna have to talk to my Leader, uh, you want to v-v-v-vo-vo-vote between elections? Uh, how would that work? I mean, aren’t we supposed to have elections once every four years and then we leave it all up to the politicians? I mean, that’s how I grew up, that’s how we’ve always done it and, sure, I’ve heard of weird places like Switzerland, Australia, the States that do things like that sometimes, but, isn’t that kind of radical, I mean, who in Canada would ever be interested in even worrying about how things are done – after Election Day?

Didd: Well, who? I would, for one. Or, I might not, but don’t you think we should have that right? After all, look at all the taxes we pay. Even birthdays and Christmas come once a year – why should we be locked out of all decision-making for four years at a time?

Gene: Well, Alan, that’s a good – no, great, point. I never thought of that. I can tell you, sometimes I think about the tough decisions I might have to make as a politician and, you know, it might just be easier if we let the people of the country have a say in things.

Didd: And fairer, eh? After all, we pay enough taxes for the privilege. So, do you think you will consider it?

Gene: Well, it’s not on my list but I sure will think about it. I mean, it’s a great idea and off hand I don’t know why we couldn’t do it. I mean, you’d still be letting me do 99 percent of the work, right? It’s just that once in a while you’d like to see voters be able to take matters into their own hands. I’ll mention it to my Leader, OK? Say, I do hope this means you’ll consider me when you cast your ballot, Alan.

Didd: Sure, I’ll think carefully about it.

Gene: OK, that’s great!

Thanks for the time! We’ll see ya’ in 4 years, Alan!

Didd: Thanks for dropping by.

Alan Didd’s got the right idea. He actually "asked" for something quite substantive instead of simply picking from a smorgasbord of "wishes" arising from some focus group run by a political party.

If we continue to let politicians tell us what they’re going to do for us – maybe, sometimes, we’ll get what we want, but we’re never going to get what we need. And what we need is the power to fix things that aren’t going right, to make our leaders do things that they don’t want to do, and maybe – if they just refuse to listen at all – maybe even "fire" them and try somebody else.

And we shouldn’t have to wait four years to the next election to do it.

So when a politician shows some "trust" to voters like Alan, and commits to running on a platform that "includes" the right of ordinary taxpayers and citizens to contribute to the country’s well-fare "after" Election Day, that candidate WILL get Alan’s vote.

All voters have to do is demand it and, if enough of them do, politicians will listen. You’ll see this from every party, because as corny as it sounds, voters still have enormous power "on" Election Day.